New Year!

As we get ready for another year, many people start verbalizing plans for change and new year resolutions. Many have great expectations of changes that will come in the new year. January 1st is the beginning and by perhaps the middle of the month there is disappointment.
Well, it is wonderful to have great expectations,ideas and plans for the new year.
What we have to remember is that change, although possible , is very difficult. We need to have short and long term plans and be forgiving of ourselves when our progress is slow or we fall short of what we expected.
Tell others of your plans and surround yourself with support. Allow yourself setbacks and start back even if at first you feel you have failed.
It can be done. You may even want to start making small preparations before January 1st. Be a little flexible with your deadlines.
Depending on your goal, you may want to have visuals such as pictures or charts to provide you an idea or actual visual of your progress or where it is you need more help.
Have faith in yourself and you can succeed.
To a great new decade and year!

who hurts in an affair

As we all watch the Tiger Woods affair situation, it is important to remember that there is pain being felt by all parties. In the aftermath of the disclosure of any marital affair, it is not only the spouse/victim that hurts deeply but also the inlaws, children and even friends. No one is an island, when someone makes a unilateral decision to cheat, have any emotional and/or physical relationship with another person, they are momentarily satisfying a need at the expense of the the spouse, children, friends and inlaws.
All affairs are different and it is not about the sex. Some adulterers blame the spouse for their affair. They can not accept that they have done wrong so they look for a way to justify their bad behavior.
In the affair, the cheater, makes a conscious decision to go outside the marriage. They make a decision to lie, hide and behave poorly.
If the marriage is not working, look for counseling, legal counsel,look for help; jumping into bed or online with another person, is not the answer.

Happy Holidays

Well, we are in the thick, sort of speak, of the holiday season. Thanksgiving has passed and now we are getting ready for the holidays. We have Hanukkah and Christmas to look forward. With them come, get together with friends, family, co-workers and a time of joy and giving.
It is time to focus on our blessings and enjoy those who are around us and provide us joy through out the year.
It is a difficult time for many since they recall memories of those friends and family that have passed. Many people also feel melancholy but can't identify why. Many tell me" this is the saddest time of the year for me"
While this time may bring sadness, I believe that accepting this yet re framing the thought or changing it around is the key. We make choices in life, sometimes that includes a choice to make ourselves less unhappy and look and work at some sense of happiness. Practice makes perfect, let's practice making ourselves happier. Let's smile more, look at the glass as half full.
I know, it is not easy. But, the good things in life have never been! Every morning, meditate or pray. Envision yourself being happy and experiencing a happy holiday related activity daily.