Experience

Well, I have been writing this blog for a year now. I celebrate 20 years of having graduated with my master's degree and beginning my official career as a psychotherapist today. I have been in the mental field since 1986.
I think this is one of the few professions where it is actually OK to be older. Well, sometimes.
Age is not experience. One can not assume that because the psychotherapist looks "seasoned" that she/he is qualified or experienced. Many individuals turn to counseling as second career while for many it is their first career.
When making an appointment, ask about experience and licensure. There is also the belief that relationship and your ability to "connect" with the therapist is what is most important and in fact more important than whether they have a doctorate or master degree.
In the age of managed care,many feel that they do not have choices of whom they want to choose for counseling but most larger insurance carriers should have an extended list of therapists near you. Get a list and call. By calling several you can get a feel for the therapist. Many, as I do, answer their own phones and use voicemail. This gives me the opportunity of speaking with the caller before making an appointment and there, at that initial contact, begins the therapeutic relationship.

" I wish my mom/dad didn't have so many boy/girlfriends"

If you are dating and have always wondered what your kids think about you bringing dates, lovers and multiple boy/girlfriends home,that may be what they are thinking. Many times children have expressed to me that they wish their parents would date less. Now, this does not mean that the children control or should control their parents. I will say though that they do not need to know what their parents' sex, dating or "whatever" life is. What happens is that children become attached to the new "friend" brought in to their lives and then one day they are gone forever. This is another loss. I recommend that parents live their life, while of course being responsible in their parenting, and once they have met the person they feel "is it" and is going to be a constant figure, then, and only then, do they introduce them to the children. As we all know, even then, there are no guarantees but the child has been shielded from many new people they could have bonded and then lost.