Neuroplasticity......

I wanted to introduce the word neuroplasticity because I think it is imporant. It refers to the ability our brain has to change as a result of our experiences. I think it is important because this means that today, you have the abiltity to make changes in your brain to improve your life. If you take the concept of positive imagery and you practice it on a daily/regular basis you can make changes in your life. Even people that are in psychiatric treatment and take medication along with thinking/cogntive changes can eventually improve their lives.
There are many tests and research that have gone in to the this study but the fact is that there is hope and you have to believe in yourself and the fact that even if you have been suffering from depression, if you have had years of trauma, there is hope and help. If you find yourself grieving a loss over 6 months, please see a professional. Long term depression and trauma can create changes in your brain but with treatment, there is hope that there can be permanant change for the better. Both counseling and medication can work great together. For many counseling alone may be what is needed.

Sex in a new relationship

I often am asked by my clients when it is appropriate to have sex. While I remind my clients that I am not the moral police, and it's an individual choice I have a few thoughts to share.
The literature that is available on sexuality and dating basically describes a release of hormones that prevent clear thinking once there is a sexual experience. Like it's also not a good idea to drink on a first date. You want to get to know who you are getting to know and potentially having a relationship with.
Back to sex. Many times people do have sex too quickly so they are not able to truly get to know the person. There is much written about whether men and women are different or similar about sex? Many believe men do not attach as women do after a sexual experience.
Literature that is out on this topic says that first, wait until it feels right, and most importantly get to know that person and take your time. Steve Harvey author of ACT LIKE A LADY, THINK LIKE A MAN: WHAT MEN REALLY THINK ABOUT LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS,INTIMACY AND COMMITMENT writes about waiting three months, not that there is magic to three months but he makes a point of comparing this to a new job with a three month probational period. This is a little humerus but seems to make sense. Don't you want to see if you want this person in your life? If you all work out? Are compatible?
Again, I am not the moral police but seems that if you are looking for a long term relationship, it may be beneficial to wait on the sex and build a strong foundation or at least know the person.
Happy dating!

The Perfect male catch at mid life!!!!!!!!!!

We live in a world of guarantees. We are offered guarantees for everything we buy practically. We have come to somehow expect things to be perfect. Funny, because no one said life was going to be perfect and there are no guarantees. When dating it seems like women have interesting ideas of what the perfect man is. I have been amused by comments about what the men wear, drive etc. But also of interest, especially in mid-life is which is the best? Divorced, never married or widowed. Much has been said of each....for example, the divorced man may have the evil ex wife, the never married may have commitment phobias, and widowed has no baggage.
But again, we are forgetting that each person is different, has different experiences and one needs to approach each situation openly and free of bias.
There are no guarantees...while the widower is seen as with out baggage, he may idolize the deceased wife..... the divorced man may have been married before but so burned that he is commitment phobe or have other issues where he should have never married in the first place.
And, the single guy may just have had a life altering experience and be willing to commit.
Again, there are no guarantees, life is a journey and it's important to get to know the person.
We can not put people in boxes and make assumptions. What is important is that both parties are honest about their short and long term goals, and only time will tell because we can be told very pretty things in the beginning but only time will tell since people's true colors show with time. Happy dating!

Love

As I came to write on the blog, I already knew what I wanted to write about. I then realized that this is the second month that I write about love. And you know, it is not a bad thing! We all need love; especially with all the economic stress, wars, and losses everyone experiences so frequently.


I was inspired to write about love because of something I witnessed at home. I have a cat that has a chronic illness similar to Lupus. A few months ago she appeared to have a stroke and I took her in for her to be euthanized. I learned then ,what she had was a bleeding tumor in her ear, but after treatment she was better and will need daily ear drops and monthly shots. The vet and I decided to watch her and I said we'd call it hospice care since she was still interacting with the other cats and dog so she seemed too healthy to be euthanized.


I have seen the other cats kiss her head, lick her wound and they all spend time together...she even has neighborhood cat friends she interacts with. We went to the vet last week and her tumor no longer bleeds. She is better. What I find so amazing here is..... that I feel the love she has received from others has helped her heal.


So, before I lose you because you think I am a crazy cat lady....think about something...... love has the power to heal and comfort the weary and sick. There are bedridden people who so need a phone call or a nod....and we all do.....


So I thought I would share and ask everyone to be more loving to your fellow man/woman. We all can use a dose of love in our lives...It works for animals and it works for humans!