Creating our sense of being...

I find it interesting that anytime I look at media, any media, they are reporting news of a new celebrity break up. Some are real and some are not. It seems that there is a fascination with break ups. Are we celebrating divorces and other peoples heart aches?
What troubles me is that if we are focused on break ups and others' misery we are maintaining a negative vision and outlook on relationships and life. We are what we breed. As a nation and as individuals, if we breed negativity we are negative. We actually place ourselves in a dark box. It's about choices and how we choose to live our lives. We can choose happiness or we can choose sadness. Again, I know that there will be nay sayers. I understand the illness of depression and that bad things will happen to us. We need to grieve losses but also grow from them. We can choose to live, to be happy for others' successes and live in the light of growth, health and well being.
I am personally tired of hearing about real and or imagined break ups. Let's celebrate healthy relationships. Notice I did not say "happy," I said healthy. These are the committed, relationships that have their highs and lows. Let's celebrate kindness to others, friendships and goodwill!

Psycho ex wife.com

It was reported on the Today Show, that a divorced couple "fighting" for sole custody of their two children were in court because the former husband started an "anonymous" blog about what was, allegedly, happening to his children at the hands of the his ex wife ( the mother of the children). In essence he was "bad mouthing" the mother of his children. His rationalization is that he felt that others were going through similar situations and he wanted to create a place for others to vent their feelings.
In court, the family court judge ruled that the blog needed to come down.
Now, this has stirred up a lot of discussion regarding first amendment rights.
Members of the legal community have commented publicly that he does have freedom of speech.
Now, I want to discuss this as Libia, the psychotherapist and parenting coordinator.
Taking the freedom of speech issue out of the equation for a bit. What are we dealing with here? Obviously the adults are grown, they have made obvious bad choices but two "good choices" are the children they had. They have a responsibility to provide a physically, and emotionally healthy environment for their children. What this man, who can be described as acting in a selfish manner, is doing is venting his feelings and carrying on about exes and especially his ex wife. He needs, in my humble opinion, to get off his public soap box, grow up, and realize he his ultimately hurting his children. Children need a positive image of both parents. They have genes and are products of both parents. No good is going to come for any child to be told their parent is bad, crazy or any other derogatory term. I tell my clients, if you tell your child that their other parent is "crap" you are in essence telling them they are half crap! We need to learn to cooperate and co-parent! It's not for the ex and not for you, it's for the children and their future!