Christmas and the newly single.......

Well, it's Christmas. The time of the year for families and friends to gather, pictures of long tables with everyone looking nice , smiling and surrounded with family are everywhere. Children are all smiling, their clean, well dressed and well mannered. Sweet isn't it? Perhaps your picture is not that cute. Perhaps you have a Goth teen, a grouchy husband, or no family at all. Whatever you have, if you can read this, feel blessed for your eyesight and your cognitive skills. I have learned that there is a season for everything. I have a personal mantra, "when in doubt, look at nature". We can have horrible weather, be it snow or rain storms where it looks like it will never clear, but it does! After a horrible Winter there is Spring ( my favorite time of year) I want to dedicate my thoughts to the men and women coping with their first year of separation from a spouse or any long term relationship. There is a "death" or very bitter winter when you first separate or divorce and you feel that your world just had an earthquake. I am not getting into how you got there, you are there. While you should allow yourself time to mourn, also look at this as being the only Christmas you will have in 2012. Start a new tradition for yourself that will help you feel like it is Christmas. If you always have a tree and don't feel like getting one, buy a live 6 inch Christmas plant at the grocery store. Do something Christmas-like. Do something different. Live the moment. It may feel like life is over, and some part of your life is, but guess what? Spring will come and new feelings will blossom. You have a choice right now, rebuild your soul stronger, or whither away. I say you choose to rebuild. Make new friends, open your soul to the world. Find others that have lived through what you are living, both currently and/or that have rebuilt. You are not alone. Reach out and you will see that there is a whole community of separated and divorced just waiting to be your friend. Let the light of hope shine on you!