Just unplug!

We all seem wired these days. We are walking around tense and looking for the latest craze to help us relax. Whether it be pills, contraptions or workouts. It seems we have forgotten the basics of stress management, and actually it "should" be intuitive. One thing almost everyone is carrying is a little contraption called the smartphone. It seems to be attached and to many it is a security blanket. What we don't want to realize is how stressful that little device is. I see people at the bank messing with theirs as they handle a banking transaction with another human. I see couples on their individual phones waiting for the food to arrive at restaurants, they quickly dine and return to their phones. Who or what is more important than the person you chose to dine with? Why are they/we doing that? It is not technology that is bad, it is the misuse of it. In my work I find that technology helps divorced parents keep in touch with their kids, as well as families who reside in different countries or states can share in each other's lives, but let's be smart about this. We should be "smarter" than our phones. We live a very "connected" and "plugged" world. We need to be able to unplug and just simply relax. Our brain needs a rest. We need to look up from our phones, laptops, and tablets and live in this world. A world of natural beauty. It wasn't planned when in 2009 I personally unplugged from television. I grew up with TV, I did my homework with the TV on and TV was my daily companion at the work place and home. I ultimately became tired of the "brain drain". The superficiality of it all. I felt there was more to life and one day turned it off. I later went on a budget where I felt if I did not use it, why pay for it. So, since I unplugged the TV, I read many more books, have had great conversations, bike ride for hours, cook, run and do duathlons and numerous other things. I have a great life and feel that I have grown in many areas.

Divorce Help

I feel like I am almost repeating myself, but I am not. Many months ago, or years actually, I wrote about the importance of looking at the credentials of Self-Help book authors and now I stretch that to blogs and Facebook. It's not that I have personally walked the walk but I have several years of divorce counseling. Divorce is pandemic and I work with it daily in most of my cases. Seems everyone is affected by divorce since it's rampant. Well, because of the work that I do, I am always coming across books, blogs and just general information about divorce. It almost seems that anyone now can have a blog or facebook page and speak as an expert. Please be careful, there are many books, movies, blogs written on a very superficial manner based on the writer's experience through divorce. They may be at any stage and may not have done the "work " or healed but they decide to write and make opinions and recommendations. I do not want to sound like a snob, that is not my intention. It does concern me that people can make comments based on what they lived or are living and believe it is like that for everyone. I have come across some blogs that I have found insentitive. I do blog and have a facebook page but I try to write as a professional who works with clients and also reads reseach and attends conferences. The blogs that bother me are the " I lived it" "so I know" It bothers me and you have to be careful, read about the author's credentials.