What do men want? What do women want?

I have written previously about self-help books so you all know how I feel about that. I hear people ask, what do men want? What do women want? Well, people, it aint that simple, yet it's very simple indeed. It's not what "men want" it's not what "women want", it's what the person that is right for you wants and what YOU want. Every relationship is different and infact a "mystery". In a nutshell, we all seek partners that meet our needs. If we have issues, if we are accustomed to dsyfunction, we may be more comfortable with dsyfunction that we are willing to admit so we may find ourselves in dsyfunctional relationships with out really wanting to. This applies to both men and women. First thing I tell people is "get a life" Who are you? What are your interests, desires,life goals? Find out and live. Once you have established your life, your identity, have made friends, you are in a better position to blend and mesh your life with the "right" partner. No one is perfect and you are not perfect. It doesn't matter how many days you go to Church, confession, therapy, You are not perfect. If you think you are , I suggest you quickly get off that kick. The key to success is being aware that neither you or your parnter are perfect but each respects the other. I say that you should feel that person " has your back". You should feel safe, understood and that what that person knows about you is not going to be used against you. I recommend you " learn who you are" , get a life, make friends, build community; put your heart in that. Really, put your heart into it, don't just volunteer at the homeless shelter because you want to meet someone nice. Grow and develop yourself and I am sure , in the community you build you will find suitable people and hopefully a date and eventually a life partner, spouse or whatever you are truly looking for. Build a life!