Boundaries

It's important to be centered and to know where I am, where you are , how we can meet and both maintain ourselves even if we join our lives with someone. It seems that more and more people feel a need to "push the envelope" just take it all a little farther. Seems people are never satisfied with what they have. This, I see, in many areas. They have a house they feel they have to go larger, car, they need a new one, married for twenty years, they want spice, perhaps a younger lover. Perhaps all this behavior has always been present but with social media the whole world knows your business. Why? because you placed it there for all to see. Everyone wants to be cool and push further. Skimpy dressed wives, bedroom shots, countless bottles of alcohol, there is a lot people are putting out there. The part that is troubling is that potential universities, employers and others are looking, taking note and making opinions. Sadly, once you post something it's there and even if you delete it someone may have just copied it. You go out and drink and post pictures of you and your friends drunk, well what if you get into an accident? a crash? you have just provided the world evidence that you were probably drunk. Even if the accident was when you were sober, you have been known to drink excessively so there is that evidence that you CAN drink excessively on occasion. My mother has an old Cuban saying " cria fama y acuestate a dormir" ( create fame, a reputation, and go asleep) It's like marketing 101, put the information out, put video, pictures of any behavior and you will be judged. It's not me that is trying to be the moral police here, it's that it's a reality. Besides, why are you doing what you are doing for the camera? What are your needs? What is a topless picture of you or a somewhat topless picture of you doing for you? Who is it for? Is it for an ex lover, ex wife? What do you need to prove and why? If you know you are super cool you really don't have to publish it on social media because everyone already knows. The sad thing is that some "so called friends" will like your pictures and encourage your debacle, they think it's funny and they will laugh at you, not with you. In my experience as a therapist I have seen people who have pushed and pushed until they just crash and burn. There have to be boundaries and some personal rules of conduct. How far can you go? Sadly, many go until they crash and burn. If you are unhappy and unfulfilled talk to someone. A neutral party who will be honest with you. Don't allow others to use your vulnerability and pain for their fulfillment. Be brave and seek professional help before you crash and burn. Crashing and burning get's you admitted to hospitals, in jail and can be way more expensive than seeking outpatient counseling. Peace be with you.