How Cool must you be?

I find that most people today have an incredible need  to be cool. First, I guess we must define cool. Cool and hot are words thrown around that in reality just describe temperature but something has happened to the current generation of adults. Seems like common sense, responsibility , empathy, sympathy and adult, mature type behavior is history. Now, it seems, no one wants to look or act their age. People save money, and take on extra jobs so they can pay for plastic surgery. Not only that, there are plastic surgery trends. A recent trend was " thigh gap" this is the need to have a certain amount of space between your thighs. These trends are for women, they seem to be part of the "war on women" but I will leave that for another blog. Some women even went to doctors to have procedures to create thigh gap. I have visions of odd bowleggedness when I describe thigh gap. Actually, there were commentaries about certain large retail stores that altered pictures in their circulars to create the thigh gap. Apparently one was so odd looking that the media had a field day with that one. Thigh gap is no longer the "in" thing, I read on social media a few weeks ago. Now it's " hip brow". I am not too sure  what this is but it has been defined , again on social media, as the crease that is created when the thigh meets the hip. Go figure, I still am not sure what that is.
These trends about focusing on how we look and surgically changing our look is only one aspect of how we are just not maturing.
In this quest to be cool where no one can actually measure cool since in some circles being uncool is too cool, people seem fearful. They seem fearful to act like themselves, to be free to say what they think and feel. For self expression. My goodness, I have just defined social control. Living in Miami everyone is afraid of communism since it is seen as oppressive but if we can not be ourselves for fear, does  it matter if the government is oppressing us or if we are oppressing ourselves. Sure, no one will say they oppress themselves, "society" does. But who is society? Society is you and me and the rest of the people around. 
This coolness factor is getting in the way of us living our lives. Why live in fear? Say what you want. Obviously, this does not mean to be disrespectful. But if you like curly hair and you have curly hair, let your curly hair be. The world may come and tell you, "you must Keratin." No, you don't have to. I know, I picked a somewhat shallow topic but it's a safe example of how we must be. I actually have curly hair and most people suggest I must have cancer causing treatments so that my hair is straight. I was actually born with straight hair and in later life it is curly. Guess I have lived both. I like  natural. We don't take a rose and make it an orchid, now why must I alter the way I look? No reason. 
I hope that after reading this you sit on it. This is not about my hair or thigh gap. This is about you giving yourself permission to be yourself. Some people will like you, some will love you, others will not like you and that is OK. In my  very first counseling theories class I remember the professor say , " You are not going to like everyone and everyone is not going to like you; and that is OK."
So, start getting to know yourself and allow yourself to be. Be you, not the copy of someone else.

The rebound

I know, this may seem foolish to you but it is truly not. I learned yesterday that Kermit the frog is dating again. My last blog entry was on  how society and the media appear to encourage and normalize breakups. It is as if relationships are not meant to last. You know there is a problem when cartoon characters are separating and divorcing. Now, really, why?
So Kermit is dating Denise. Denise looks very similar to Miss Piggy except for Miss Piggy's diva flavor. It is very obvious that Kermit is on a rebound since he is dating someone that looks just like Miss Piggy. As a professional who focuses on  relationships and divorce, a separation/divorce is akin to death. In essence it is the death of a relationship and there needs to be healing. 
So, the powers that are manipulating this Kermit / Miss Piggy separation are now manipulating and creating a situation that is encouraging more dysfunction. It is believed that depending on the length of a relationship, there needs to be sometime for healing which truly has no time limit but should be at least one year and more if the relationship was a long time relationship. In short, Kermit has no business dating right now. Also, the fact that Denise looks just like Miss Piggy proves it.
Yes, I know that I am carrying on about two puppets but since they are available for discussion then I use them to highlight dysfunctional behavior after divorce. I still have issues with that fact that the powers that be in the media are encouraging divorce and the break up of relationships. I truly find that problematic. Again part of  the "throw it away and get a new one." It does feed a capitalist society since people starting new lives will need to buy many things and utilize professional services every time they start new but that comes with a human price. The price of pain and suffering and not just for the people breaking up but for the extended family, the children and even pets. Again, I urge everyone to be mindful of the messages that the media is sending us. We have the power to reject these ideas and not buy products associated with this dysfunction. It may be silly but if you start looking at this deeper is starts becoming morose; not cute or funny. It well known that rebound relationships don't last and why involve Denise in this situation? Both Kermit and Denise are going to end up hurt. Kermit is not ready to date yet.