So today Bill Cosby is officially charged, one month before the statute of limitations expires. It has taken many women to come out and say, several times, that they were "raped" by this man.
Now, on so many levels this affects so many people.
Yes, the victims of course and my heart goes out to them and applaud them for their tenacity and strength.
A situation like this also affects the family, his wife. While many may not be sympathetic to Mrs. Cosby, she too is a victim. She has been married to this man for some 50 plus years and I can't imagine what she is feeling or will feel if her husband is found guilty and sent to prison. She will definitely be in denial and probably is in denial. How can you internalize that your husband of 50 years is not who you thought he was? Living with a person who, it turns out, you never truly knew is always difficult, but 50 years?!
I have had some heated conversations where people have become angry at me for saying things like this about Mrs. Cosby but she has to accept that, and wrap her mind around the new reality of who her husband is. Is she not also a victim? I have thought that perhaps those angry at me for feeling sad about Mrs. Cosby in fact are somewhat misogynist. Was it not Bill Cosby who allegedly hurt these women? If I as a woman become angry and blame Mrs. Cosby, what am I really doing? Mr. Cosby is the one here who has done wrong. I am sure Mrs. Cosby has defended her husband. When you are married to someone , you marry because you love your husband and can't imagine them going off and drugging and raping women.
By acknowledging Mrs. Cosby's pain, I am not intending to minimize the primary victims, the women making the accusations. These allegations are very serious.
We are also victims. We yet again have been betrayed by a man we as Americans trusted. The Fat Albert of the 70s, the head of family in the 80s. Our desire to believe in wholesome has yet again been trampled. There are multiple layers of victims here. We shall see what happens now but yet again, we have been taught that there is a sinister side to people and don't we really know people? Today I am sad for the victims and what they have lived through while also proud of them to standing up. I am sad for Mrs. Cosby and the immediate family and friends and for all those that remember his "wholesome" television shows.
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Monday, December 28, 2015
Happy New Year !! 2016
So we are headed toward a new year and the talk is about change and new year's resolutions. I probably say this every year because this issue does not change.
If you feel a need to make changes in your life and you feel January 1st is the best time, then do so. If you don't, that is OK as well.
Any change is difficult and there are bumps in the road. What I see as an issue are the expectations created for the new year and the ultimate frustration that ultimately happens.
Now, whatever your goal is for next year go in with the understanding that you will lapse and you will make mistakes and that is OK too.
Change will come even though it may not look the way that you initially expect it to look, and that is OK too.
I guess the essence of what I am saying is to be kind to yourself as you work on your goals. You should have short and long term goals.
Diets are big for the new year but remember that diets are not the goal but lifestyle change is. You don't want to feed yourself salad for one week and be miserable all week. You may want to start by incorporating vegetables in your meals, eating healthier and starting that way. You will break your streak of change and that is OK, just go back the next day.
You may also want to make a visual of your goals. Pictures from magazines, words or drawings that highlight where you want to be.
Just remember that you have 12 months and change will not happen immediately.
Be mindful of what you want, what you are doing, be real and present.
And yes, I used the work OK a lot because it's OK and you are OK. Love yourself as you are. It's a journey, not a destination and you want to enjoy the journey.
Peace and Love and thank you for reading my blog.
If you feel a need to make changes in your life and you feel January 1st is the best time, then do so. If you don't, that is OK as well.
Any change is difficult and there are bumps in the road. What I see as an issue are the expectations created for the new year and the ultimate frustration that ultimately happens.
Now, whatever your goal is for next year go in with the understanding that you will lapse and you will make mistakes and that is OK too.
Change will come even though it may not look the way that you initially expect it to look, and that is OK too.
I guess the essence of what I am saying is to be kind to yourself as you work on your goals. You should have short and long term goals.
Diets are big for the new year but remember that diets are not the goal but lifestyle change is. You don't want to feed yourself salad for one week and be miserable all week. You may want to start by incorporating vegetables in your meals, eating healthier and starting that way. You will break your streak of change and that is OK, just go back the next day.
You may also want to make a visual of your goals. Pictures from magazines, words or drawings that highlight where you want to be.
Just remember that you have 12 months and change will not happen immediately.
Be mindful of what you want, what you are doing, be real and present.
And yes, I used the work OK a lot because it's OK and you are OK. Love yourself as you are. It's a journey, not a destination and you want to enjoy the journey.
Peace and Love and thank you for reading my blog.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)