Digesting Bill Cosby

So today Bill Cosby is  officially charged, one month before the statute of limitations expires. It has taken many women to come out and say, several times, that they were "raped" by this man.
Now, on so many levels this affects so many people.
Yes, the victims of course and my heart goes out to them and applaud them for their tenacity and strength.
A situation like this also affects the family, his wife. While many may not be sympathetic to Mrs. Cosby, she too is a victim. She has been married to this man for some 50 plus years and I can't imagine what  she is feeling or will feel if her husband is found guilty and sent to prison. She will definitely be in denial and probably is in denial. How can you internalize  that your husband of 50 years is not who you thought he was? Living with a person who, it turns out, you never truly knew is always difficult, but 50 years?!
I have had some heated conversations where people have become angry at me for saying things like this about Mrs. Cosby but she has to accept that, and wrap her mind around the new reality of who her husband is. Is she not also a victim? I have thought that perhaps those angry at me for feeling sad about Mrs. Cosby in fact are somewhat misogynist. Was it not Bill Cosby who allegedly hurt these women?  If I as a woman become angry and blame Mrs. Cosby, what am I really doing? Mr. Cosby is the one here who has done wrong. I am sure Mrs. Cosby has defended her husband. When you are married to someone , you marry because you love your husband and can't imagine them going off and drugging and raping women.
By acknowledging Mrs. Cosby's pain, I am not intending to minimize the primary victims, the women making the accusations. These allegations are very serious.
We are also victims. We yet again have been betrayed by a man we as Americans trusted. The Fat Albert of the 70s, the head of family in the 80s. Our desire to believe in wholesome has yet again been trampled. There are multiple layers of victims here. We shall see what happens now but yet again, we have been taught that there is a sinister side to people and don't we really know people? Today I am sad for the victims and what they have lived through while also proud of them to standing up. I am sad for Mrs. Cosby and the immediate family and friends and for all those that remember his "wholesome" television shows.