"I will let the judge decide"

 As a Parenting Coordinator and in my work in co-parenting counseling, I work with parents who are in high conflict and have difficulty following the parenting plan post-divorce or separation. 

Divorce is traumatic for people, add parenting and co-parenting, and the stress increases. In addition, it is difficult communicating with the person you are in the process of divorce/separation. These situations have clogged the Courts, and the reason parents are referred to Parent Coordinators or for counseling, whether individual or family, is because judges do not want to make the decisions for your family. It is truly not their place, and they are referring you so that you learn the skills to help your particular child/children. 

Please do not believe that a judge is the best person to decide what is best for your children. You had these children, and they are a part of you. You may be angry with your co-parent ( the other parent), but at the end of the day, you two are the best qualified to decide and make the decision for your offspring. 

Granted, I am generalizing, and there are unique issues that may prevent a parent from deciding. Still, the ones that I am referring are divorced/separated who are angry at their former partner and, in anger, say, " I will let the judge decide."

If anger controls your communication style, your ability to co-parent, please seek help. 

Help may come as a support group for separated and divorced or individual counseling. In addition, large employers have a service called Employee Assistance Program ( EAP). You can learn more about them from your Human Resource Department. This free service connects you with counselors familiar with your particular issue.

I recommend seeking counseling/help because you will be co-parenting until your children are 18 years old and even further. So please, seek help to better communicate with your child's other parent.  

Once again, thank you for reading.